Monday, March 31, 2008

Creating the WORST figure ever

I've talked about good figures, pointing out such things as dynamic poses, crisp sculpting, unique topics, ect. ect. ect. But what about the things that bring a figure down? You know, those unsightly aspects of these special little figures that we wish we could change. So lets for a minute imagine that we were setting out to make the WORST toy soldier ever. How would we do it?

1. Claim they are 1/32, but make sure they are way too small or way to big to be used with other figures.

2. Make sure that they are packaged using those plasticy wire wraps that Forces of Valor uses, making it impossible to get them out of the box. Man, everybody loves those.

3. If the army wore Red uniforms, make sure you only offer them in Blue.

4. Make sure at least one figure in the set is not capable of standing on it's own.

5. All pistols should be sculpted to look like bananas.

6. Gumby cartoons should be your standard anatomy reference.

7. Each set should contain 1 shooter, and 5 mine sweepers.

8. Make sure to choose a really popular topic, such as the Guelph-Ghibelline War.

9. Give all your figures smiles.

10. People should have to ask "is that a spyglass, or a rifle?"

Can ya think of anymore?


Anonymous said...

What about a too small helmet, too thin neck, too big weapon, too flat torso, too thin arms..........

Anonymous said...

Popeye arms and shoulders, helmets too small for the head.

jac28 said...

MPC had a great way to make poor figures - just make one generic set in nondescript uniforms then use them for everything..

You want ACW Federal and Confederate troops? - mold the same figures in blue and gray..

You want Spacemen you say? No problem - mold the very same figures in Silver..

How about firemen, you might ask - not to worry - mold them in red...

Combine that with ill fitting helmets and belts - - - you have some of the worst toy soldiers ever!

But I still have a soft spot in my heart for them.

At least with their pirates they actually went to the trouble to mold new figures that kinda looked like pirates - still didn't have hats that would fit good.



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